Most adults can agree that physical abuse occurs all too often with damaging and sometimes deadly results. However. there is less agreement about the dividing line between positive discipline and abuse. Many parents fear that "sparing the rod will spoil the child" while others feel that any form of physical punishment is cruel and ineffective in controlling a child's behavior.

In attempting to legislate child abuse laws and clarify the problem, state governments are beginning to define abuse in terms of outcome rather than intent. Washington State, for example, defines physical abuse as actions which have lasting physical effects, such as broken bones, burns, cuts, internal organ damage or substantial bruises.

While it is important not to base protective child abuse legislation on something as elusive as "intent." a closer look at intent can help many parents to evaluate discipline measures and guide them towards safe and effective parenting.

DISCIPLINE is designed to help children control and change their behavior. It's purpose is to encourage moral, physical and intellectual development and a sense of responsibility in children. Ultimately, older children will do the right thing, not because they fear external reprisal, but because they have internalized a standard initially presented by parents and other caretakers. In learning to rely on their own resources rather than their parents, children gain self-confidence and a positive self-image.

ABUSE, on the other hand. is characterized by its orientation toward satisfying needs or expressing the negative feelings of parents or other caregivers. While it may result in positively changing the child's behavior, often the improvement is temporary and followed by a later acting out of the hatred, revenge and hostility they have learned from their parents. To avoid further abuse, children may lie, run away or exhibit other forms of avoiding responsibility. Abuse tends to damage the self-esteem of both the parents and the children.

SAFE, EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE is a correction given in love. In evaluating methods of guiding their children's behavior, parents or guardians need to ask themselves:

Parents can adhere to these safe, disciplinary guidelines regardless of whether they believe that physical discipline is right or wrong. This is a safety issue.

For more information on safe, effective discipline and abuse prevention. the following resources may be helpful: 

Books

Between Parent and Child by Hiam Ginott. Avon Books. New York. 1965.

I Still Love You by Jennifer James and Sue Jett. Seattle Institute for Child Advocacy, Seattle. 1985.

What Every Parent Should Know by Thomas Gorden. National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse. Washington. CC. 1984.

 Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary. Parenting Press, Seattle. 1979.